Return gift ideas

A return gift is a small thank you that guests carry home. It is a custom at children's birthday parties, weddings, baby showers, housewarmings and religious functions in much of India. The best ones are useful, easy to carry and the same for everyone.

Children's birthday parties

• A storybook or an activity book suited to the age.
• A stationery set: pencils, eraser, sharpener and a small notebook.
• A box of crayons and a drawing pad.
• A small puzzle or a card game.
• A steel bottle or tiffin with the child's name on a sticker.
• A sapling or a packet of seeds with a small pot.
• A skipping rope, a ball or a flying disc.

Avoid toys with very small parts for young children, and flimsy plastic that breaks on the way home. If you include sweets, tell parents what is inside, because some children have allergies.

Weddings and receptions

• A box of sweets or dry fruits with the couple's names.
• A pair of diyas or a small brass lamp.
• A potli of mishri, saunf or mukhwas.
• A small plant in a pot.
• For women at the haldi or mehndi: bangles, bindis and a small pouch.
• A steel or brass bowl, traditional in many communities.

Pujas, haldi-kumkum and housewarmings

In many parts of India, women guests at a puja or haldi-kumkum are given a small set of auspicious things. In the south this is the tamboolam: betel leaves and areca nut, turmeric and kumkum, a fruit or a coconut, flowers and often a blouse piece. At a griha pravesh, a steel or brass vessel or a box of sweets is a common return gift.

Baby showers and naming ceremonies

• A small box of sweets.
• Scented candles or soaps.
• A small silver-coloured kumkum box.
• A sapling, to grow with the child.

Choosing and packing

• Count families, not people, unless the gift is for children.
• Order two or three weeks early, and a few extra.
• Choose one gift for all. Different gifts for different guests cause comparison.
• Add a small tag with a thank-you line and the date. Our gift messages page has lines to copy.
• Keep the return gifts near the exit with one person in charge, so nobody leaves without one.

Guides

• Shagun: giving moneyThe envelope, the extra rupee and how to decide the amount.
• Gifting etiquetteGiving, receiving, regifting and gifts to avoid.
• Gift wrappingWrap a box neatly, or wrap without paper at all.
• Gift messagesShort lines to write on a tag or card, to copy.
• Secret Santa name drawerPair everyone for a gift exchange on one phone.